Hungary Part 1- Family and Baptism

So we had a big family reunion of sorts in Budapest this summer. I think the last time my parents, my sister and I were all there at the same time was in 1992 when we returned from the US for the first time. But I also mean a much bigger family reunion. While we were there, both our kids were baptized at the church where my grandfather was a minister many years ago ( he was born in 1900!) and my sister and her husband are the proud and gracious godparents. My Mom did a super job of organizing everything, and amongst many other purposes, this day was a very nice way to bring all the family together, including the newest member of the extended family, my cousin's son Marcell (pictures to come later) as well as the current oldest, my grandmother, Mami (90 and going). But it was also all the people in the middle, including all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends of the family that really made this day memorable for all of us. Thank you to my uncle Zoli for making the program and the video, and our other photographers Hans and Toni (hope it is ok if I stole some of your pictures)! The kids were showered with gifts (THANK YOU) and Mikael and I with many kind words and memories.

Networking...updating...user overheating

The bottom line is that we are far from family and friends and it is important for us to try to keep in touch.
With that being said, I first started a family blog when we moved to Rome to accomplish above stated goal without having to retype the same e-mail over and over. This worked out relatively well and had become sort of a family journal for ourselves as well, as I haven't gotten it together enough to keep good (or any) record of what the kids are doing (Lili's baby album is still waiting to be assembled, in fact, our wedding album with pictures mostly from the predigital era consists of a box of photos being lugged around the world). So, as I said, the blog was doing well. Until Facebook made it (and thus the 'history of us') obsolete, that is. Not that it is the same thing, but I need to admit, posting what you are up to and a few photos on FB takes a few minutes. At most. The blog, although I have a good system of compressing and organizing photos, etc, etc, requires more time than that. So I am on FB because it is just too easy and I try to keep up the blog, because it is more meaningful and I do have several friends and family members who will never become FB users. But just looking back at the number of posts, the blog has clearly taken a hit. And I will go ahead and shamelessly use FB as the scapegoat.
Add to that the fact that I just got a complaint that my Mom does not have enough pictures of the kids. Now, she has probably at least 2500 pictures of the kids on her computer. I KNOW for a fact that there are about 1000 from the summer (Happy husband with DSLR camera!). But they don't count. Only printed photos count. So now I am assembling a photobook with iPhoto (thanks Cornell for giving me a home computer!). Which, admittedly, is a lot of fun. But still time consuming. And I am not even mentioning all the cameras (ok now I am), gadgets and editing tools that make average parents taking snapshots of their average (though cute :-)) kids think that they are a budding Annie Leibovitz and their kids are future celebrities. Or that we are yet undiscovered Cindy Shermans documenting our never aging selves. By the way, this refers only and only to how I feel sometimes, and not to anyone else's efforts at photography, blogging, etc ( which of course as all of us like looking at other people's pictures and reading up on their lives, I naturally love. And being so far away, I truly appreciate.)
But sometimes I just want a camera with a roll of film. I want to go back to the time when you think twice before you take a picture (and therefore have maybe 3 rolls of 24 exposures to organize after your vacation, naturally a third of them in the dark with crappy flash and a third with your eyes closed). And back to the time of correspondence by letters (which was not so long ago, I did it with my grandmother), when after you have written a letter and sent it via international post you have at least 3 weeks if not 2 months when the ball is out of your court. Since I check my e-mail at least twice a day, I know in this day and age this would drive me CRAZY but seriously I am going a little crazy as is...

Buffalo is the Best!

Aside from planning it all, which was extremely complicated, we had a great summer. I took the kids to Buffalo and stayed about 10 days and then they spent about 4 weeks there without us (with my parents). I was extremely nervous about this but after the initial adjustment which was really only a few days (for them, we never quite adjusted though we made the most of our 'childless' time together) they had a great time. Miki went to the same daycamp as last year and Lili also went every day (complete with backpack), hoping they would let her stay :-). The earliest age is 3 1/2 but I have a feeling she is going to be planning next summer this entire year. This is less complicated (and more relevant) when in her world, the future can simply be summarized as tomorrow and the past as yesterday. In other words, only Miki went to camp yesterday, but they will both go tomorrow.
The weekends were also full of activities- I really appreciate my parents' motivation and energy to take them somewhere every weekend and America's ability to provide a seemingly endless list of (fun/educational/safe) activities for kids, from simple things like the library (where Lili just walked around shocked saying ' theye is so many books here') to the Strong National Museum of Play, which is just an amazing place.
I have to say, over the last few years both Mikael and I have developed a new appreciation of Buffalo, from my parents back yard (which is average sized but unaffordable to us in most DC neighborhoods and simply nonexistent in NYC- which are the last 2 places we lived prior to coming abroad) to affordable and good restaurants, generally no traffic (to us anyways, my parents complain), to plenty of nonovercrowded kids' activities. And I am not ashamed to include the outlet mall on this list; always a family destination.
I am not sure if Buffalo has come a long way in the last 20 years or if it is just me. For sure, being one of a few foreigners growing up there, up until later on in high school, I always felt like I had a 'double life'. When I got to college, this whole new world opened up to me in terms of meeting people like myself- not quite foreign but not exactly all American either and I think I took out a little bit of my anger? (about feeling isolated? being different? who knows at this point) on Buffalo (don't get me wrong, I have very fond memories of my high school years, I think I experienced just average teenage angst). Anyways, the point of this not this rambling or self analysis, rather that Buffalo has become a pleasant surprise in my life over the last few years. So I have to agree with the kids- Buffalo is the Best!

PS That's them talking to Mikael. They still love us :-).

24 Hours in Amsterdam

On our way to pick up the kids and meet the family in Budapest, Mikael and I spent a day in Amsterdam. This was our first together 'vacation' without the kids (we did spend most of July without them, but we were both working). We had forgotten how easy vacationing is when it is just 2 adults-we arrived on a red-eye flight, took the train into town and hopped into a cab to get to our hotel. This is a total breeze without a stroller and car seats (or the worry about the lack of them) and 2 sleepy kids in tow. We also decided to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary a bit early and splurged on a nice hotel with a great view of one of the canals. The hotel is actually made up of a number of row houses all linked together with an internal garden. We spent the morning walking around ( immensely enjoying the fact that you CAN walk around), having breakfast by the flowermarket, visiting the botanical gardens and a great exhibit (called 'Matisse to Malevich') at the Amsterdam Hermitage. We took a well timed nap during the late afternoon when it rained a bit (and watched a Dutch woman pedaling a bicycle, holding an umbrella, AND talking on her cell phone all at the same time. I still don't understand how all this is possible all at the same time- but it IS). We had a very nice dinner at Bussia, a restaurant where Mikael made reservations prior to the trip, but which turned out to be around the corner from our hotel (that's how we knew it was meant to be and by 'it' I mean so many things...). We enjoyed the meal. And the wine. And the grappa. Either we are getting old or our alcohol tolerance has severely diminished because we found ourselves telling our very young waitress all about how we live in Doha, how we are celebrating our anniversary and how much we miss our kids. Well, she got a good tip- she really looked like she cared. The next morning we just had time for a super tasty coffee and pastry once again right around the corner from our hotel at Screaming Beans. Even Mikael loved the coffee and he has turned into quite the coffee snob after Rome. Then once again, found ourselves striking up a conversation with a total stranger ( albeit one with a cute baby and a dog) about our kids- a sure sign that it was time for us to go to get them. But we will be back!

Return to Rome

This is from a while ago - I wrote the post but never published it. So here it is, a few months behind.

It was the week before spring break. Literally. I was desparate to go somewhere on vacation. Mikael was entertaining a staycation. I wasn't doing that. After having made and discarded numerous vacation plans (Jordan, then Sri Lanka, then India (Goa), and finally Dubai) I felt exhausted. Unmotivated. So when Mikael called and said 'I have had a moment of clarity... let's go to Rome', it just seemed the right thing to do. Especially since now we had a plan.
Going with my alliteration theme here Rome had everything one could want on a vacation- friends, food and flora ( necessity when trying to escape the desert). Plus my sister was going to a last minute conference in Naples and would make a side trip to Rome and my cousin and my aunt for coming to Rome for Easter- what else could one ask for? It was a great vacation. We ate and ate and ate and ate. And we walked and walked and walked and walked. Almost balanced out all the eating. We saw family, good friends, all our old co-workers... Miki and Lili had a great time- the daily cornetti (like croissant), all the playgrounds and the gelato probably had a lot to do with that. The kids loved all the over the top Easter candy and decorations in the cafes and little shops ( HUGE Easter eggs-- 4 of which I successfully transported back to Doha- I think Miki would have disowned me if any of them were cracked, melted or in any way less than perfect) . And of course all the attention they got.
We found out that what was our fairly shabby 'living in Rome' Italian has now turned into impressive 'tourist' Italian. Either of these is still way better than our almost nonexistent Arabic ( sigh...).
At any rate, we came back and felt ready to appreciate all the comforts of Doha- no icy cold marble floors in unheated apartments, a pool a 2 minute walk away, no getting squished on public transport (although you can get squished by a big truck - don't know which one is worse), and most of all just the return to what we now call 'home'.

Guest Post: The good life, by Lili McCowan

My parents know nothing. Everyone seems to think that Mama is the boss of the house, but it is really me. If you spend any time around here, it will quickly become clear to you that there is no room for debate in this matter. They ( I mean the rest of the family) try to resist, they try to discipline, when they should just accept the simple fact- LILI IS THE BOSS- and everyone's life would be so much easier.

As is, I have started talking so I express myself verbally when I can. I like to live on the edge so when climbing up and down the hard marble stairs, I say 'by self' or '[insert the name of well-intentioned helper] go away! Sometimes I try to turn around and give a little push to get this important point cross. This has caused me to lose my balance and almost fall- clearly not MY fault.

I also like to try other things by myself and try to teach patience to the other members of the family- for example, I do this by insisting to get into the car seat 'by self' (or egyedul), even if this is a 10 minute process (since I might get distracted by the many interesting things the world has to offer). If I am assisted, I have to resort to other methods to reinforce the lesson- I will scream, for up to 45 minutes, about how I wanted to get in the seat 'by self'. I don't enjoy this, as I would much rather be listening to my favorite song (Bango Margit- Hosszu fekete haj, which I just call 'fekete haj') but I am hoping this will remind my parents to be more patient the next time.

Sometimes talk just does not get my point across. I will need to hit, kick, punch, pinch, pull hair, head butt, scream really high pitched or throw things (usually utensils) to get the attention I deserve (editorial comment- no spitting yet). At this point, my parents have stepped in and tried to impose discipline (i.e. do what worked for my brother )Ha, I laugh! At first, I was unphased by the timeout stool and just sat there. Then I started getting upset and my parents thought they were making progress. To throw them for a loop, every once in a while I will now DEMAND to be put on the timeout stool when I have done something wrong and sit there smiling. My parents are at a loss, because I am the BOSS.

Now don't get me wrong- I have a lot of emotion. Period. It goes both ways. I hug, and kiss and say I love you totally unsolicited. I make sure my brother also gets treats (as long as they are not mine). I prefer to have both my parents in my twin bed with me, with their arms tucked under me. I love talking to everyone on the phone or skype and will demand that people talk to me ( and only me, especially now that I have more to say) ('Lili beszel'- Lili talking) ( I actually remember overhearing that my mother did something similar at this age, though not on skype).

Anyway, I think I have made my point here. But just in case you are not convinced, watch the video below. My poor parents are so clueless, they were worried about Miki getting spoiled by a nanny, so he has all these chores like clearing his plate after dinner, making his bed, washing himself in the tub, cleaning up his toys etc. What do I have to do? A big nada (even though I do try to help) so I have the time to think of new ways to 'educate' them but also just to enjoy life.

Desert Roses

Surprise, surprise- another outing into the desert. We were invited by a colleague of mine ( a 6 year veteran of Doha) to dig for 'desert roses'. We were excited to go along on any kind of adventure, especially since the weather is really nice these days. Geologically completely ignorant, we pondered about what desert roses were and whether it was right to just go and 'dig them up', but decided not to worry about it and just try to enjoy the day. Well, now we know. Desert roses are not plants, they are rock formations- gypsum with sand inclusions which form a rosette pattern ( there is apparently also a barite form but as I said I know next to nothing about this). The place where the desert roses are found is, well, in the middle of nowhere (literally). We were following another car which at a random point ( thanks to GPS) took a turn off the highway and drove off into the desert. This was our first real 'off roading' experience as we had to drive probably about 15-20 km to get to this spot. We of course made the obligatory stop at a camel farm (where once again there was mutual picture taking) and then headed on.

 

So we arrived into this basin, where the sand was slightly darker ( more wet) and set to work!

This was serious business- little kids worked, big kids worked, while some of us encouraged and admired their work.

 

These are some smallish desert roses, there were also much bigger ones 'we' found.  It was a windy day (as you can see above) but no matter, for Miki and Lili ( and all the other kids) it was like a giant sandbox.  With giant holes ( we were not the first ones to come up with this idea). The kids reminded me of prairie dogs sticking their heads out from the ground ( see pictures below, I am not crazy).

 

After the digging, we of course had a huge picnic and went on some little hikes, where some signs of life were spotted.  To summarize the day in Lili's words "I like it the desert. I like it the camels".  What more can we ask for?

 

  

 

Camels

I have a feeling this is just the first of many camel posts. Camels are not nice but they are fun to look at. We went to try to see some camel racing when my friend Jessica was visiting this past week ( Yes, I am fortunate enough to have a devoted friend who will even visit us in Doha). There were no races going on (we did call but noone ever picks up the phone which is not unusual) but we did see a lot of camels. Some of them had the little robot jockeys on their backs which are controlled by the owners during the races. Sadly they used to use children for this purpose- a practice which has now been banned. Lili was very excited and was yelling camels, camels (or more precisely pamels, pamels) the whole time. We were being crazy tourists and taking lots of pictures but soon discovered that we were a novelty item as well because the camel riders were taking just as many pictures of us ( thanks to everyone in the world now owning a cell phone with a camera)- see the last picture, he is looking at the photo he just took of us. Mutually interested, mutually obtrusive, mutually obsessed with documenting every aspect of life- whatever it was, everyone was satisfied at the end. Except maybe the poor camels. This reminded me of the book I got for Miki before we went to Egypt about how the camel got its hump (based on Rudyard Kipling's story) - it was a punishment for not wanting to work. They have a tough lot in life. But enough digressions and enough camels for today.

Doha Debut!!!!!!!!

Yes, here we are! In the desert. More precisely in Doha, Qatar. The summer and the fall (and I guess part of the winter) have been crazy with moving and setting up our lives but hopefully now we are ready to return to normalcy and the blog as well. Aside from the move, a lot has happened: we celebrated birthdays, started at new schools and new jobs. The kids have almost learned to swim , we have (almost)learned to drive (or at least survive) in the crazy Doha traffic. We enjoy great middle eastern cuisine (oh how I missed hummus in Rome) and crave parmigiano-reggiano and a decent cappuccino. But overall we are well, adjusting, experiencing, enjoying...